It’s Monday and
I’m back at work. After having a terrible weekend which saw me flat lined for
most of Saturday, I can honestly say that it’s nice to be back in a
routine. I find myself having more bad
days than usual lately and I’m not sure if it’s the medication or the weather.
One of the more
frustrating things about this condition is my memory or lack thereof it, they
call it the “Fibro Fog”. I find myself
at times standing in shopping isle’s wondering what I’m here for and having no
idea on the purpose of being here in the first place which happened on Saturday
– forgetting where I have put things, not able to string a sentences along, not
able to find the right word for an item and feeling like I’m slurring and
speaking another language.
Another term
used frequently with this condition is “Flare”.
Everyone’s flares and length of flares are different. For me it is when
my whole body just completely goes haywire which brings me back to Saturday – Headache
and whole body ache, struggling to walk, pins and needles in the feet with a
burning sensation, digestive issues, Vertigo and balance issues, vision compromised.
Now I’m no stranger at all to these conditions as I generally experience one
of these issues on a daily basis but it’s when everything hits you at once is
when I struggle. So at that point I just
gave it the middle finger and decided to shower and take myself to a coffee
shop and sit in the sun, and it worked for a maybe an hour and by the time I
got home I was completely and utterly wipe out but my goal was to GET OUT OF
THE HOUSE. I was so angry with my body
as that was the moment I realised that it had let me down but then I also
realised that I to had let my body down as It was clearly sending a message to
me that I needed to slow down which I did and spent the rest of the afternoon
on the couch with remote in hand.
I find it hard
to balance between not letting this get to me and knowing when I need down time
and being truly ok with allowing myself down time but It’s something that I need
to work on and hopefully I will find the balance.
Sunday morning
started out ok and got better as my husband took me to visit the RSPCA and get
some Pet Therapy and boy did it help – I may off looked like the crazy cat lady
sitting amongst all the Cats but they certainly pulled me out of my funk and I
could not get the silly grin off my face.
And here we are
back at Monday – can’t say I’m feeling brilliant but I’m out of the house and
hoping and trying to be the best person that I can be today J
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